When Parenting Feels Like Too Much: Understanding and Managing Parental Burnout

The mental load of parenting is real. In fact, the U.S. Surgeon General recently flagged parental stress as a public health concern - a message that resonates deeply with Claudia Vicencio, PhD, LCSW, LMFT, director of Outpatient Behavioral Health Services at Memorial Healthcare System.

"Burnout is what happens when parents experience emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion as a result of prolonged stress," explains Dr. Vicencio. "It's not just a bad day. It's an ongoing sense of depletion that can affect the way we show up for ourselves and for our children."

At Memorial Healthcare System and Joe DiMaggio Children's Hospital, we understand that keeping children healthy starts with supporting the entire family - especially the parents and caregivers doing the daily heavy lifting.

How Many Parents Are Burnt Out?

A 2023 survey from the American Psychological Association found that:

• 41% of parents feel stressed most days
• 48% say some days they're so stressed they simply can't function

These statistics may sound familiar - and if they do, you're not alone.

"Many parents are juggling full-time work, childcare, school schedules, emotional labor, and still trying to be 'perfect,'" says Dr. Vicencio. "But no one is built to carry all of that without support."

How to Know If You're Burnt Out?

According to Dr. Vicencio, burnout can show up in ways that are easy to ignore or dismiss:

• Chronic fatigue - feeling tired even after rest
• Irritability or mood swings
• Loss of joy or connection with your child
• Physical symptoms like headaches or stomachaches
• Difficulty sleeping, often from racing thoughts
• Guilt and self-doubt as a parent

"These are real, valid signs of burnout," she adds. "And they deserve to be acknowledged - not brushed off."

Five Strategies to Reduce Parental Burnout

Dr. Vicencio offers five clear, compassionate steps to help parents better manage burnout and protect their own mental health:

1. Make Time for Yourself

"Even if it feels counterintuitive, self-care isn't optional - it's foundational," says Dr. Vicencio. "You can't support your child if you're running on empty. Start with small moments to check in with your body, mind, and emotions."

2. Open Up to Others

"Whether it's a friend, fellow parent, or trusted support system, the connection is healing. There's strength in vulnerability," she says. "You're not the only one who feels this way - and sharing it can be the first step toward relief."

3. Adjust Unrealistic Expectations

"We don't need to be superheroes," Dr. Vicencio reminds us. "We need to be human. That means letting go of perfection, being kind to ourselves, and owning our emotions. When we mess up, it's okay to repair with our children by saying, 'I'm sorry, I'm stressed - and I'm working on it.'"

4. Get Curious About What's Beneath the Stress

"Sometimes burnout is really about deeper feelings of inadequacy or self-blame," she says. "It's important to identify those automatic negative thoughts and gently challenge them. What are you saying to yourself - and would you ever say that to someone you love?"

5. Know When to Seek Help

"When anxiety, depression, sleep problems, or inability to concentrate persist, it's time to reach out for professional support," says Dr. Vicencio. "Mental health care is not a luxury - it's a necessity. And it's absolutely okay to ask for help."

A Lasting Impact on Our Children

"Here's what I tell every parent," says Dr. Vicencio. "Our kids won't treat themselves the way we treat them - they'll treat themselves the way they see us treat ourselves."

When we take care of ourselves, we model resilience. We send a lasting message to our children that they, too, deserve rest, support, and compassion.

You Are Not Alone

If you're feeling overwhelmed, Memorial Healthcare System and Joe DiMaggio Children's Hospital offer resources, referrals, and support to help you manage stress and prioritize your mental health. Contact our Outpatient Behavioral Health Services team today at 954-276-3400.