The Drew Barrymore Show: Drew Celebrates the Launch of Valerie Bertinelli’s New Book Getting Naked with Surprises from Shaun Cassidy and More

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Drew Celebrates the Launch of Valerie Bertinelli's

New Book Getting Naked with Surprises from

Shaun Cassidy and More

Air Date: Tuesday, March 10^th

Must Include Tune In

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Photo Credit: The Drew Barrymore Show/Ash Bean

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Videos:

Valerie Bertinelli on Being with Eddie Van Halen in the Public Eye

https://app.cimediacloud.com/r/p5froosUPOou

Drew: Can I ask you something I've never asked you. What's it like to be in partnership with someone that famous, that big.

Valerie: I don't, I don't know because I knew Ed. I knew the delicate, sensitive, huge-hearted, like he wore his heart on his sleeve. He was just a gentle, sweet soul that just wanted to play music. He didn't like and all of the attention, you know, he liked hanging out at home, he liked being in the back room, writing his music until we, we built 5150, the studio, correct, and it's still there on the, the same plot of land and now it's Wolfie's studio, but it's, he was just Ed to me. He was a really sweet man that I fell deeply, madly in love with.

Drew: Did you ever feel like, you know, it's so funny because. You really have to, I don't know how else to say this, but when you are with someone that big, what the hell is that like? Yeah, when you're in the center of that arena, the biggest band, Van Halen.

Ross: I mean, you both of you together, that was like they don't know.

Drew: You're almost making each other implode.

Ross: Exactly what is it like to be in the eye of that storm? Was there scrutiny?

Valerie: Oh yes, there was all the time. There was, you know, it was one of those things where, and I've learned how not to do this now, which has taken me a long time is like when they would put out false headlines about us. I would wanna knock on everybody's door and we only had the National Enquirer. We didn't have social media, so Ed and I were able to develop this cocoon and I still have that cocoon around me, I feel like.

Drew Surprises Valerie With A Message From Her Son Wolfgang

https://app.cimediacloud.com/r/WhO9yQ7euWv3
Drew: There is so much love here. I mean, the way that you speak about him, I've been around you for years now. You just can't fake that type of consistent love.

Valerie: Well, just wait till you meet him.

Drew: Well, actually, funny enough, take a look at this.

Wolfgang: Hey mom, it's me, your son filming a secret video with you in the other room, not realizing, that I'm doing this to surprise you on your very special show. We got Bubba here. Bubba says hi. Say hi, Bubba. He doesn't like to be held, but he's still, he loves you very much, but, just wanted to say, congratulations on the book launch on, on Valerie's place on the website. You're doing so much you're so busy and I'm so proud of you and I love you so very much. You're probably crying right now, which is, which I bet I bet you're probably crying right now, so I'm sorry for making you cry. I hope it's happy tears it probably is, but yeah, that's all. I love you. I'm very proud to be your son and, I'm very excited to play the show, I'm very excited that we're gonna be doing that, so that's gonna be a good time playing a little acoustic version of our song on the show that's gonna be fun. So, see you soon. I love you very much and, yeah, thanks for having me, guys.

Valerie: I can't believe he did that. He's so private. Oh my god, he's just the, he just lights up my life. I just adore him. I'm so proud to be his mother. I'm so, I'm just so happy that he found his person. I'm just, I can't wait for you guys to meet him.

Drew Surprises Valerie with Shaun Cassidy

https://app.cimediacloud.com/r/rJKd7BSC4nH6Ross: More recently, the Miami News and Parade reported fans were losing it when Val reunited with her 'Hardy Boys' co-star, the iconic Shaun Cassidy. Val co-starred in the season two finale of 'Hardy Boys' way back in 1978 and played the villainous Wendy Chase. Do you remember that?

Valerie: Oh, that was so much fun. I've always wanted to play a bad girl. I've always, and I don't get that many chances. I think there was that and then a movie I did where I shot a bunch of people, terrible.

Drew: And the 'Hardy Boys was the biggest deal.

Valerie: And Shaun, I'm telling you, Shaun is the sweetest, most talented man. He is a showrunner, a producer, amazing scriptwriter, and I'm hoping that we can do a project together.

Drew: Why don't we ask him right now.

Valerie: I had no idea.

Shaun: I had no idea either. They just found me on the street and they said, come in on. I heard there was a book signing of people getting naked.

Shaun on Stealing a Porsche From "The Hardy Boys" Set with Parker Stevenson & Handling Being a Heartthrob

https://app.cimediacloud.com/r/kXCWLa1XCItR

Drew: Do you remember like something that comes to the top of your mind from those two finales?

Shaun: Yes, I had a very attractive wife who they killed very quickly, and I had to track down her killer with Parker, and they gave us a Porsche 928, which was a new car then. We used to drive this goofy van before then, and we stole the car. We literally, Parker and I left at lunch and we didn't come back for the rest of the day. We drove up to San Francisco, really cool.

Drew: Oh my God, I love that your level of like how much women loved you. I mean, I don't understand how, how any male could handle that much love, attention, obsession, and adoration. Like how did you keep a sane head?

Shaun: Well, I hid out for 40 years. I don't know, no accounting for taste, but I, a true story, I got married really young because I, I think part of it was I was kind of like afraid to be out in the world.

Drew: I mean, you could not go places. So you married and found like a stability.

Shaun: It, well, it took me a couple of practice rounds, but yes, I've been married for quite a while now. I've been married over 20 years, very happily.

Valerie on Treating Herself Bad & Surviving Sexual Abuse as a Child

https://app.cimediacloud.com/r/YwUvGdNbg5ga

Drew: You say something here that really moved me, which is we will let others treat us bad if we treat ourselves bad. How can we possibly discern or know the difference between mistreatment if we're literally doing it to ourselves, it explained so many toxic relationships that I've gotten into. How did you know to identify it or break that cycle?

Valerie: I knew, OK, it, it goes deep and it goes to my far, far past. So, I'm just gonna say it, because I just say it in the book and it's gotten easier and easier for me to say it. I was sexually abused when I was 11 years old. And so I didn't think that I deserved any better. I found it, it was my fault. I thought it was not for sure my fault, but it changed how I looked at the world, and I was already looking at the world like I came into a grieving family, my brother died when my mom was pregnant with me, he was 17 months old. So I came into this life having to make life better for the people that I saw grieving without even knowing it as a baby. So, by having these traumatic experiences in my life I began to believe that I wasn't worth being treated better, so I began to believe that lie, and through my life I would do maybe things that I'm ashamed of, and I would layer that shame on top of the original shame that was never mine to belong, that was never mine to begin with. So as I started to get to a point in my life at this ripe old age where I realized I was sharing something, a vulnerability, a trauma with someone that I thought I trusted, and then they were then able to use it against me in a, in as a weapon to hurt me, I thought, well that, I gave them that weapon, but here's the deal, I can give anybody any weapon, but I can also disarm it, because if I don't believe it first and if I dig down, this is when I went looking for EMDR to get through the experience that first caused my trauma. I knew I had to dig into that to release this shame that I carried with me for decades, self-loathing, and once I was able to release that, and it took me a good 10 years, by the time I first told my therapist that I had been abused to the time that I did EMDR, and when you get to a point that you can release it and it's still a part of you. It will never not be a part of you, it will always be an experience that you had, but by making peace with it and, and now knowing it's an experience I had, it doesn't define who I am, so I can't let anybody else use that experience against me and my vulnerability is to be honored, and it's my strength, and if someone's gonna abuse that, then they don't belong in my life. So why am I abusing it? Do I not belong in my life? No, I do, so I needed to make friends with all of that shame and then go, OK, thanks, and then sit by it, and I actually go through a meditation in my book where you're able to take something and sit it next to you and walk away from it, knowing that if you need to go back to it, you can and then I was able to dissolve that, and now I truly feel for the first time I know who I am. And I really like who I am, and I like the way that I solve problems and I like how stubborn I am, and, and I like that I believe in the best and I will believe in the best in you until you prove me wrong, and you might not mean it, but sometimes you just need to walk away from those people because it's not good for you, especially if they're making you feel worse about yourself, but only you can let somebody influence you. So as soon as I decided that I like me and that no one can change my mind now, that I'm just gonna keep liking me and I'm just gonna be my weird funky self and if you like me great, if you don't, that's OK too.

Drew: I love you.

Valerie on How Sharing Her Abuse Has Uncovered Her Strength and Getting DM's About Sharing Her Story

https://app.cimediacloud.com/r/HVnLj8oayc05

Drew: We live in a world too where the clickbait is heavy and hot and when I read about your experience about being abused I thought how ironic don't you dare pull quote this because this is a book where you so unvictimly state this as another conveyance and invitation to other people that if you have been hurt out there Val has too you don't go into detail it is not lascivious or salacious it is a life experience that you are willing to share in strength and solidarity and an admittance of your truth and it is full of invitational strength and wisdom, and I've never seen abuse be written about in the empowered simple quiet way that you do and it is unlike anything else so you can hear a quote trust me you don't know what the book is.

Valerie: That was important to me and I've already started getting so many DMs from so oh it just makes me wanna, so many beautiful people out there say, you know, I was 8, I was 14, and it's like we carry that for far too long when it was never ours to carry, and I just, I'm not angry at the perpetrator anymore. I know the pain. Like, and I, it's, it's not even why me, it's like it did, and what am I gonna do with it? I'm still here, I'm still alive, I didn't die, it didn't kill me, it hurt like hell, but you know what? I'm a survivor, and here's what trauma I think does for people. It doesn't show you how strong you are, it just uncovers the strength you've already had. You don't get strong through trauma, it uncovers your strength that you already have inside of you, and everybody has that strength inside of them.