Gifting experiences for the holidays

With the holiday season in full swing, many people feel pressure to find the "perfect" gift - one that is thoughtful, meaningful and capable of bringing lasting joy to the recipient. Yet in a marketplace saturated with holiday promotions and endless consumer goods, gift-givers may sometimes overlook a psychologically wise alternative: experiential gifts.

According to researcher Amit Kumar, assistant professor of marketing in the University of Delaware's Alfred Lerner College of Business and Economics, whose work focuses on the psychology of happiness and consumption, people derive more enduring satisfaction from experiences than from material possessions. Kumar's findings offer a compelling framework for rethinking holiday giving - not merely as an exchange of items, but as an investment in social connection, memories and well-being. His research consistently shows that choosing experiences over material goods leads to greater happiness before, during and long after consumption.

Why experiences make us happier than things

Kumar's work begins with a simple but significant observation.

"The happiness that you get from 'stuff' is pretty fleeting. We adapt to it and habituate to it," he said.

Once the novelty of a new purchase wears off, material gifts often fade into the background of daily life. This is somewhat counterintuitive because we might assume that objects, which physically last longer, should also deliver longer-lasting emotional benefits.

"Instead, psychologically you stop getting as much from them over time, or you stop paying as much attention to them," Kumar explained.

Experiences, by contrast, are ephemeral in duration - in a sense. Concerts end, dinners conclude, trips pass - but they continue to provide value in our memories and in the stories we tell. Because they also become a greater part of our identity, they maintain emotional resonance long after they are over.

An experience becomes a story, something we revisit, relive and share with others. Even a brief moment - a meal, a performance, an afternoon outing - can become a lasting source of happiness.

Anticipation: The joy of looking forward

Kumar's research also highlights differences in the nature of anticipation. Shopping for material goods tends to create impatience: people want their purchases immediately, and waiting can become a negative experience.

By contrast, waiting for an experience generates excitement, not frustration. We can enjoy imagining what a concert will be like or what dishes we'll try at a new restaurant. This positive anticipatory feeling becomes part of the gift itself.

Further, anticipation of experiences can be social.

"Very few people really want to hear about a watch you're thinking about getting, but people do like talking about trips that you're going on, or restaurants you're hoping to check out," Kumar said.

Because experiences invite conversation, the joy of waiting for them is enriched by social interaction. This is a powerful insight for holiday giving: experiential gifts start delivering happiness long before they occur.

Happiness in the moment of consumption

Kumar and his colleagues conducted a naturalistic study in which they pinged thousands of people throughout the day, asking whether they were consuming something they had purchased. Across a wide range of experiential categories, including food and drink, entertainment and outdoor recreation, people reported higher levels of happiness during consumption than they did while using material goods like electronics, clothing or home furnishings.

This effect was striking because it held across nearly every type of experience examined.

"Basically, every sub-category of experiences seems to give people more momentary happiness than every category of material goods," Kumar explained.

Whether modest or extravagant, experiences consistently deliver richer emotional payoffs.

Memories, connection and the afterglow of experience

Experiential gifts can also endure because of the value they provide even after the experience is over. Kumar's recent work demonstrates that people continue to derive value from these experiences, even after they're over, in part because experiences help maintain and enrich social connections.

"People talk about experiences more than they talk about possessions, and these conversations generate deeper bonds," Kumar said.

For example, discovering that someone attended the same concert creates a far stronger sense of connection than discovering that they own a similar shirt. Experiences represent a greater part of our identity, making shared experiences particularly meaningful.

This social dimension is especially relevant during the holidays, a season when relationships and togetherness are culturally emphasized. Giving an experiential gift such as a dinner, show or trip is not only enjoyable in the moment; it becomes fodder for social interactions, amplifying the recipient's happiness over time.

The virtuous cycle of experiential consumption

Kumar's research also uncovers an intriguing behavioral consequence of experiential consumption: it fosters greater generosity and gratitude.

"People feel more grateful for their experiences than for their material goods," he said. According to Kumar, gratitude, in turn, promotes prosocial behavior.

In one study, participants who reflected on an important experiential purchase gave significantly more money in an economic game than those who reflected on a material purchase. On average, the former gave away about $4 of a $10 endowment, compared to approximately $2.50 by the latter.

"This suggests that experiential gifts not only boost individual well-being but can also create a somewhat virtuous cycle," Kumar noted, which can inspire further giving and strengthening social ties.

Implications for holiday gift-giving

Taken together, these findings can help consumers reframe the holiday shopping season. Instead of searching for the newest gadget or another decorative item, Kumar's research encourages us to ask: What kind of gift will enrich the recipient's life in a deeper, more lasting way? For parents "who don't need anything," for friends who value time together or for loved ones who cherish shared memories, the answer could well be an experience rather than a material good.

Experiential gifts don't need to be elaborate or expensive. A cooking class, a nature hike, museum tickets, a weekend trip or even a planned meal at a restaurant can create a joyful, meaningful experience. These gifts signal attention and care, offering the recipient not only pleasure but also lasting memories and opportunities for connection.