06/09/2025 | Press release | Distributed by Public on 06/09/2025 13:43
Society often gives men strict rules on handling emotions. Phrases like "Man up" and "Be a man" suggest that men shouldn't struggle emotionally. But in reality, everyone faces difficult emotions, regardless of gender.
Obstacles to men's mental well-being
Men often hesitate to seek help because of society's expectations. Men are told to be "tough," handle things alone and suppress emotions. Instead of showing painful emotions, men might deal with distress through actions society deems more "manly" like:
These behaviors can be signs of emotional distress but may not be recognized as such. And even when they are recognized, the stigma around asking for help often stops men from reaching out. Challenging outdated ideas about masculinity, like "real men don't need help," can help combat stigma and overcome obstacles to well-being.
Decoding outdated "feeling rules" for men
Feeling rules tell us which emotions are OK to feel and how strongly we should feel them. Society's feeling rules for men are based on outdated ideas about masculinity, and they can have unwanted impacts. These rules suggest:
Impact: Relying onlyon yourself can lead to isolation and prolonged distress.
Impact: Excessive toughness can isolate and increase pressure on the individual and others.
Impact: Hiding emotions can lead to burnout, stress and strained relationships.
Impact: Consistently holding back emotions can lead to chronic stress and prolonged pain.
Breaking the mold: New rules for emotional strength
Thankfully, views on masculinity are evolving. It's time to adopt new feeling rules that promote emotional strength:
Take charge of your mental health with Lyra
Asking for help requires strength, courage and wisdom. Lyra's coaches and therapists can support you in lowering stress, improving your relationships and finding fulfillment. Remember, the most important challenges are often best tackled with teamwork.
Join or learn more
Vanderbilt employees and their families are eligible to receive 12 counseling or coaching sessions per household member each calendar year, at no cost to employees.
Sign up today at vanderbilt.lyrahealth.comor call 877-804-2856.
You can view frequently asked questions on the Office of Health, Wellbeing and Belongingwebsite.
The Office of Health, Wellbeing and Belonging aims to strengthen health, well-being and a sense of belonging among employees. We are dedicated to promoting mental health, work-life balance and a supportive work environment. For more information, email wellbeing@vanderbilt.edu.