A health scare in the family inspired her fight to preserve Lebanon’s postwar voices

When Nour Rayess first considered documenting her family's Lebanese history, it was a personal mission born out of love and urgency.

"My grandfather was in the hospital, and I realized, 'What happens if I don't ask him about his story?'" Rayess said. "I wanted to make sure that even when he's no longer here, his voice would still live on."

Today, the third-year history major is turning that early impulse into something larger: an oral history project that charts the aftermath of the 1975-90 conflict that divided the country, and how those events continue to shape Lebanese society. Supported by a Mellon Mays Undergraduate Fellowship, Rayess is hoping to better understand post-civil war Lebanon and contribute to the preservation of first-person accounts of those in the country as well as those in the U.S. diaspora.

Raised in Simi Valley by parents who made it a point to keep their Lebanese culture alive at home, Rayess traveled to Lebanon almost every other summer. Yet despite that closeness, she often felt there were gaps in her perception of the country and her own Lebanese identity.

"It feels like a hard topic to try to understand," she said. "It's difficult for my parents and grandparents to talk about it because their own personal trauma has come out of that history."

That silence pushed her to start asking questions - first informally with family members and later, more broadly through academic research. Her project, titled "Silenced Ghosts: A Lebanese History," documents the memories of those who lived through the postwar years, with a particular focus on the Druze minority community, whose members reside in the Levant and global diaspora.

"The research focus was just the most natural thing that came to mind because it was something I had been reflecting on for a while," she said.

Unlike much existing research that focuses either on the war itself or secondhand accounts, Rayess is gathering firsthand narratives from people who experienced the transitional period after 1990.

Each week, as part of the fellowship, she meets with graduate mentors and faculty advisors to refine her research methods and learn from senior fellows as they practice presenting their findings.

"It doesn't just support me in my undergraduate education right now, but also in looking forward to pursuing a Ph.D.," she said.

The project, while personal in its origins, has grown into a broader exploration of collective memory. Rayess has conducted nearly 10 interviews and hopes to complete an additional 20 to 30 by the end of summer. Some conversations have been with diaspora communities, while others with contacts in Lebanon, where she plans to travel this August to continue gathering stories.

"I'm excited to hear the perspectives of those who stayed versus those who left," she said. "I don't know how much that comparison will really come out in my final thesis, but I think it will be interesting."

Capturing the human aspect of it - the inflection of a grandparent's voice, the small details of daily life - is a central part of her approach. She emphasizes the importance of preserving video and audio recordings alongside transcripts.

"Tone, body language - you can't capture that in just a written transcript," she said.

Through the process of listening to others' stories, Rayess found herself asking deeper questions about her own roots.

"When in Lebanon, I'd always ask, 'Why is it this way?' Now, I'm trying to understand," she said. "I know it'll be a lifelong journey to do so, but I've only gained a greater appreciation for the country and for my own identity that's tied to it."

In addition to the oral history project's role in her Mellon Mays fellowship, she will also develop the work into her departmental honors thesis which she will present next winter quarter.

"I'm very motivated, and I think that does translate into how much time and effort I put into it," said Rayess, who is also pursuing minors in digital humanities and art history. "Of course, I think that's natural for anything you care about."

As she looks ahead, Rayess hopes her project will encourage others to preserve the histories within their own families.

"All you need is your phone's voice recorder and an hour or two with whoever you want to talk to," she said. In the voices she is collecting, Rayess is ensuring that the past will not be forgotten - and that future generations will have a map of where they came from.

"Heritage is history," she said. "As people of the diaspora, people who are interested in the region, or people who are interested in the world in general, it's important to understand the historical context behind these Arab countries."

A transfer student from Moorpark College, Rayess credits UCLA's dynamic environment for helping her thrive academically and socially thanks to a campus she says is a "bubble that's representative of the world." She's found a particularly close community within the Lebanese Student Association and the Middle Eastern Student Association on campus.

"Both of those spaces have given me a community to find people who feel like home," she said.