Brody School of Medicine a matchmaker

Brody School of Medicine a matchmaker

In medicine, everyone must specialize. In school, a few eye someone special

As they approached the front doors together but separate on Day 1 of orientation at the East Carolina University Brody School of Medicine, Alissa Davis and Jake Richardson had matching Tar Heels T-shirts and so much more in common. They'd come to know it all - such as, they each got into medical school on their third round of applications - and make so many new connections, but at this moment, they'd arrived as alumni from the same campus, and that was enough for Davis to flash Richardson a warm smile and an in-group salute.

"Go Heels," she said.

The couple laugh today recalling how Richardson responded. It makes this a meet-cute worth retelling.

"He said, 'Uh, yeah,'" she said.

"Ugh, what an idiot!" he said. "My mind was elsewhere."

The two got together with classmates at Sup Dogs that Friday. By the end of the semester, they were studying at Laupus Library. They got a room together, 4510. Every day - school, library, campus student center gym. Today, the couple are engaged and plan to marry in June before family, friends and almost two dozen Brody School classmates.

At the Brody School, some students who meet during orientation will fall in love and marry. Few if any suspect it. One who should have is Justin Hess, who met his future wife Aubrey Allen on Day 1. Why? Hess' own parents met this way as members of the class of 1985.

Mark Hess and Suzanne Powell saw each other standing in line at Ragsdale Hall looking for housing. And today, like so many alumni, the senior Hesses reflect on a school culture that was very close, with the potential for lifelong bonds to form quickly and deeply. (The couple feels so strongly about the school they endowed a scholarship for current and future Brody School students.)

"Our friends in class were all our mutual friends," Dr. Suzanne Hess said. "We both played on the intramural volleyball team. We all would water ski the Tar River when we had a break. We'd have an oyster roast in someone's back yard."

"Medical school is so intense," Dr. Mark Hess said. "You're working long hours with these people in your class. Friendships can grow into partnerships."

Still, it "floored" the parents to see their son in love with a classmate.

"A bunch of them came through Clemmons for a barbecue dinner [with us] on their way to a hiking trip," he said, "and when he said they were officially dating, we all had a good laugh, given the two of us and where it all led."

Today, as the younger Hesses recall that time, Dr. Aubrey Hess begins rattling off others in their friend group who also found their spouses at the Brody School. She stops after seven couples but is certain there are others she's forgetting.

"You have so much overlap in your activities, your studies, your entire week. It was a lot of small moments that drew me to her," Dr. Justin Hess said. "If you can spend 16 hours studying with someone and still want to continue hanging out, that creates such a bond."

"I personally think Brody does such a wonderful job of selecting people who are genuinely in for the mission, who want to go into medicine to help people," she said. "And then, Brody goes so far to make people really feel like a family."

Today, he is an ophthalmologist at Hawthorne Eye Associates in Winston-Salem, while she is a dermatologist at Davie Dermatology & The Med Spa in Bermuda Run, which Dr. Suzanne Hess founded, practicing alongside Dr. Jaclyn Hess, her sister-in-law.

The strain and gain of med school romances

There's a medical school urban myth that a certain, notoriously high-stress medical residency carries divorce rates north of 100%. That is, residents arrive married but divorce, then remarry only to divorce again before finishing.

That certainly wasn't the fate of Brandon Mills and Olivia Money, class of 2014, who met at Brody on Day 1, matched together at ECU Health, married a year into residency, became parents before finishing residency, then moved to Winston-Salem. Today, he is an emergency medicine doctor and she a part-time hospitalist. They have Brenner, 7, Baylor, 4, and now Bennett, two months old.

Many professions caution against intramarriages, but the best information suggests physician intramarriages are strong, on average, though in the cross tabs, female physicians have higher rates of divorce, especially if they work long shifts.

"Our marriage defintitely influenced what I went into," said Dr. Suzanne Hess. "I thought I would do primary care, but when I realized in our third year Mark wanted emergency medicine, I knew if we were going to have a family, one of us had to be available."

For the Mills, it made sense for Dr. Olivia Money Mills to cut back time at the hospital.

"You do a cost-benefit analysis," she said. "I know women whose careers are too important, where, for me, in this season of my life, while the kids are young, I need to go to their little school plays that happen to be at 11 a.m. on a Tuesday."

"Now, those days and weeks I'm working, I'm still coming home and cooking, cleaning, putting kids to bed. Being a mom is a fulltime job in and of itself."

On the other hand, the couple can chat about work with a greater degree of understanding and support. Something the senior Hesses said they do even today as retirees. They volunteer at A Storehouse for Jesus medical clinic in Mocksville.

An article published by the American Association of Medical Colleges titled "A match made in medical school" suggests that many married physician pairs first meet in orientation. The Couples in the Match® option for residency exists to acknowledge and support such couples.

But the article also points out that women physicians may find more to navigate in their relationships, and for any physician, professional competition may creep in.

Matriculate, meet, marry

Looking back, Dr. Olivia Money Mills said one of the assets of a Brody School of Medicine experience is "the smaller class sizes, the family feel … the faculty who stay late to make sure you master a concept," that sets a tone for everything that follows, even, perhaps, leading a family of her own.

A thread on the popular medical school forum Student Doctor Network asks "Best medical schools to find a wife?" In it, the poster says, "Look I'm excited to learn the basic sciences and research … but I'm also trying to find a wife (perhaps more important)," before wondering which schools have the best dating cultures.

Not surprisingly, respondents were delighted to take aim at the prompt. "Hey, you don't have to explain anything, we're all pretty much here to find wives or husbands," went one. "LOL … 'perhaps more important.' I'm done," said another.

Anecdotes in the thread refer to perceived divorce rates and the tension of trying to maintain a relationship while juggling the demands of training, including the potentially fatal long-term, long-distance period of residency.

For Davis and Richardson, they agreed early that, if they were going to marry, they were going to match as a couple.

"It's hard to explain to anyone else. For two years straight, we would study from 8 a.m. to 7 p.m. - on the weekend," he said. "We kept each other straight."

"It's a pair-bonding experience," she said. "Our friends, too. No one knows what I'm going through like these people."

"It's a weird experience, medical school. You watch people die. You watch people brought back to life. You dissect a brain," he said.

"It's a major bonding experience, yes."

The Brody School of Medicine Alumni Reunion takes place Nov. 7-8. This year's weekend honors graduating years 2020, 2015, 2010, 2005, 2000, 1995, 1990, 1985 and 1975, though all alumni are invited to celebrate and reconnect, Medicine.ecu.edu/alumni/.

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