Unpacking the science behind resiliency, wellbeing

Wellbeing is not about being your best self but doing what is best for yourself. There's a massive difference between the two, says Robyne Hanley-Dafoe, EdD, an education and psychology instructor.

"We don't do wellness for wellness's sake. We do it because we want to feel better. … We want to keep living these big, bold lives," she said.

Robyne Hanley-Dafoe, EdD, speaks at the 2025 AVMA Veterinary Leadership Conference in Chicago during her keynote. Drawing on her resiliency framework, combined with more than 18 years of university teaching and research experience, she provided realistic and sustainable strategies for understanding and practicing everyday resiliency and wellness. (Photo by R. Scott Nolen)

Most people approach managing their wellbeing on a physical or emotional dimension, but the best approach involves tending to eight dimensions, which she outlined in her talk at the 2025 AVMA Veterinary Leadership Conference. Doing so also creates the ability to become more resilient.

She gave more insights and tools, including five pillars of everyday resilience, during the keynote "Everyday Resiliency: How to Master Working and Living Well" on January 10 in Chicago.

Traits of resilient people

Hanley-Dafoe received her master's in education from Queen's University in Kingston, Ontario, and her doctorate, focusing on educational leadership in higher education, from Western University in London, Ontario. She has spent years researching the topic of resiliency, interviewing people all over the world who have gone through remarkable circumstances. Yet she found that they often wouldn't describe themselves as strong or hearty.

"I would ask them, 'Well, how did you get through this?' They said, 'I was resilient because life didn't give me another choice. I was resilient because I had to be. I just had to show up for the people and groups and communities that needed me,'" she said.

With the data collected, Hanley-Dafoe devised what she calls the theory or practice of everyday resiliency. This is what people do every day to get through the most difficult experiences of their lives. She found five traits or practices that gave people the best opportunity to be well and to meet their goals. They are as follows:

• Belonging: A person needs a team or individual in their corner with whom they can celebrate, be open and honest, and feel safe to be themselves. Having a few meaningful relationships is key, she said, because "if you get those right, you're going to be able to weather whatever comes your way."
• Perspective: This means operating with head and heart in alignment. People who do this well, keeping the big picture in mind, are able to prioritize the things that matter most on any given day.
• Acceptance: This requires understanding what is in and outside of one's control. It's knowing how to put energy and influence toward areas where a person has the most power to affect change. "We spend more of our time thinking about what we cannot do and don't have, versus recognizing where we do have agency, accepting our controllables, and working with them," Hanley-Dafoe said.
• Hope: A person must consciously choose to live a hope-filled life, trusting they are on the right path and will be OK. Having a proactive strategy or mindful practice to stay hope filled is the only way to be of service in any capacity, she said.
• Humor: Resilient people are funny, though often it's a dark type of humor. Despite going through adversity, the people she studied somehow had fun or a softness around them. But there are biological underpinnings to this, as the body releases a natural tranquilizer when a person laughs. Laughter gives a moment of reprieve because it blocks pain receptors.

Wellbeing boosters

Hanley-Dafoe specializes not only in resiliency, but also navigating stress and change, wellness in the workplace, and optimal performance both at home and at work. She has authored two books: "Calm Within the Storm" and, more recently, "Stress Wisely: How to be Well in an Unwell World."

Other than physical health, she says the other dimensions of wellbeing are spiritual, emotional, intellectual, social, environmental, occupational, and financial. All these aspects must be considered when aiming to improve personal wellbeing.

To help people feel better, Hanley-Dafoe noted five forces of recovery:

• Movement: Research says 7,000 steps a day decreases all-cause mortality by 60%. That can be a 30-minute walk plus regular activity. Consistent movement and practice help.
• Connection: Having meaningful conversations with others helps people feel more grounded and regulated. She recommends that when you reunite with someone, smile brightly. "The small things aren't that small after all. Imagine walking into a space and feeling seen simply by somebody being excited that you are there."
• Nature: Being indoors all day can make people feel overwhelmed and anxious, but going outdoors dramatically increases their ability to navigate our way and open up to possibilities, she says.
• Music: Songs can help us process emotion. "If we're having thousands of emotions a day, and we're not able to process them in real time, listening to the right soundtrack or album can actually allow us to move through our emotional landscapes," Hanley-Dafoe said.
• Gratitude: Appreciation, feeling fondness, and reflection can change people on a physiological level.

Other practices she mentioned include: not scrolling on devices for too long, which creates a numbing effect; setting goals and "finish lines" and celebrating wins; and, above all, resting.

"If you're looking for a fix of trying to do better or feel better, but you're not sleeping, you're essentially stepping over $100 bills to pick up pennies, right?" Hanley-Dafoe said. "There's no amount of supplementation that is going to replace the feeling of being well rested. Going back to the basics is extremely important."

Public link

Please use the above public link if you want to share this noodl on another website.