UNM Professor creates educational tool for professionals, families going through contentious divorces

When University of New Mexico Adjunct Professor Lawrence Jones isn't teaching or mediating contentious cases, he's trying to help parents and professionals create a less stressful experience for children during separation or divorce.

Jones, who teaches law-related classes within UNM's Department of Political Science, and serves as the Vice-Chair of the New Mexico Supreme Court's Statewide Commission on Alternative Dispute Resolution, has a lengthy background in family court litigation. As a former Family Court Judge in New Jersey and the former President of the New Jersey Coalition of Juvenile and Family Court Judges (NJCJFCJ), he has seen many unfortunate cases with children and contentious divorces. That's why he and his wife, Joni Jones, created Point C.

"We thought this was a very interesting and effective way to address an important issue that gets overlooked a lot in family court when parents are at war fighting over the alleged 'best interests' of the child," Jones said.

Point C is a free public educational resource that focuses on the emotional health and welfare of children during and after a divorce, aiming to educate parents and professionals on how to support a child's needs during separation or divorce. Point C includes a short 5-minute film Jones developed showing a young child growing up in a hostile divorce. The video is designed for parents and professionals directly or indirectly involved in the family court process, such as attorneys, judges, therapists, and custody experts.

"It was readily apparent in many cases that the divorcing parents, through their own contentious conduct and dysfunctional attitudes, were unintentionally but substantially hurting their children on an emotional level," he said. "We hope parents watch the video, which may make them stop and seriously think twice about the potential impact of what they are jointly doing to their child."

Jones says many who have watched the clip have reached different conclusions about what 'Point C' personally means to them.

"The father is at Point A and the mother is at Point B. However, Point C is theoretically a goal of peaceful compromise for the sake of a child," Jones said. "The video portrays how, from the child's standpoint, the meaning of 'Point C' significantly changes during her parents' endless battle, as she gradually grows up from a young dependent child to a fully independent adult."

Jones says the inspiration behind the video comes from his years on the bench as a Family Court Judge. He recalls sitting in on a very hostile custody trial years ago that left a big impact on him. During his lunch break that day in the courthouse cafeteria, without any available paper to write on, he grabbed an old discarded pizza box on a nearby table and wrote the outline for Point C on the lid. He used that starting point to develop the video, which he later presented at an annual educational conference packed with family court Judges at Judicial College. After that, the video fable was posted to YouTube and has now gained support amongst professionals in the field of divorce litigation.

"Many Judges were saying after Judicial College, they really wanted to show the Point C video in their courtroom to try to make an impact on some parents who were so engrossed in the fight with each other they couldn't see beyond that battle," he said. "The Point C video is an example of a nontraditional resource that might help in these cases."

Jones says the video has been picked up on social media and podcasts. Just this past June, the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC), one of the largest worldwide organizations for professionals involved with divorce or child-related issues, featured Point C at their annual conference in June 2024 in Boston. Point C was also featured in an August 2024 cover story of the National Council of Juvenile Family Court Judges (NCJFCJ) publication, In Session.

"One mediator related a story where the parents were both fighting and he and the attorneys on both sides agreed to show them both the Point C video and the parents started crying. They settled their case a few days later because that was enough to get them to think," Jones said.

Professor Jones hopes the tool will take on a further life of its own here in New Mexico, used by mediators across the state and students on UNM's campus who may be learning mediation or dispute resolution skills.

"Whether it's going to be shown in my present or future class or to faculty, either way, I hope it's something that would be made available for consideration by those in the UNM community," Jone said. "We're hopeful as time goes on and word spreads that more people will not just know about it but will be able to use it in a very helpful productive way."

Jones says there are several things parents may consider following to support their child's best interest:

• Avoid talking negatively about the other parent to the child or in front of the child.
• Avoid discussing the details of the divorce proceedings with the child or sharing court papers with your child.
• Absent an emergency, do not interfere with the child's parenting time with the other parent, without the other parent's consent.
• Generally, absent emergent circumstances involving the child's safety, do not interrogate your child about what the other parent is doing during their parenting time.
• Do not embarrass your child by engaging in public arguments or screaming matches with the other parent.

With nearly half of all marriages in this U.S. ending in divorce, Jones encourages people to watch Point C and share the resource with those they care about, making it available to as many families and professionals as possible.

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