Etiquette Dinner Prepares Student Athletes for Life After Sport

Student-athletes from across Stony Brook University gathered for this year's Student-Athlete Etiquette Dinner dressed in formal wear and ready to make intentional conversation. The April 29 event served as a rehearsal for life after sport, focusing on networking, professional presence and building connections that could shape their futures.

Hosted by the Student-Athlete Development department in partnership with the Career Center, the etiquette dinner is geared primarily toward graduating seniors, graduate students, juniors and student-athlete leaders. Company representatives from a wide range of fields are invited to sit with athletes, turning a formal dinner into a real-world networking opportunity.

"We really wanted it to be a space where they can practice what it's like to be in a professional dinner setting while also making real connections," said Arnika Edwards, assistant athletic director for student career and leadership development.

Edwards said the goal goes well beyond teaching table manners.

"The whole point of it is to put as many people in front of them that can eventually be of help to them," she said. "I want our student-athletes to feel safe and comfortable enough to come to these events and know they're going to get great information, learn something new and meet people who can one day serve as role models or mentors."

The evening began with a networking reception featuring mocktails and intentional mingling. Student-athletes were encouraged to practice pitching themselves in a professional setting.

"We start with a networking period so they can just talk and loosen up a little bit," Edwards said. "It's really about helping them get comfortable with walking up to someone, starting a conversation and talking about who they are and what they're interested in."

To support that, each athlete who RSVPs in advance received a customized business card listing their name, sport, major, contact information, a brief statement of career interests and a QR code to their LinkedIn.

"For a lot of them, this is the first time they've ever handed someone a business card," Edwards said. "It's a small thing, but it makes them feel more professional and more prepared."

Once everyone was seated, the focus turned to the finer points of professional dining. A Career Center representative walked the room through how the table is set, why there are different forks and glasses, where to place a napkin at the beginning and end of a meal and other etiquette tips. The dinner is structured like a business meeting, modeling the kind of professional engagement athletes may encounter in internships or job interviews.

"We talk about everything - from why there are different forks on the table to what kind of conversations you should be having," Edwards said. "It's not just how you eat; it's how you carry yourself in that space, what you talk about and how you present your brand."

For many, it's the first time anyone has explicitly walked them through expectations that are often taken for granted in professional environments.

"It's a great experience because a lot of our student-athletes just haven't been exposed to this before," she said. "We don't want them to walk into a big internship dinner or an interview one day and feel lost."

The etiquette dinner is part of a larger slate of programming that Edwards and her team coordinate throughout the year. The Student-Athlete Development office organizes events such as Careers in Business Night, Careers in Healthcare Night, Careers in Education and Advocacy, Real Estate 101 sessions, financial literacy workshops and STEM-focused panels, often created in response to student surveys and feedback.

"A good amount of our events are based on their career interests," Edwards said. "We listen to what they tell us they want - who they want to meet, what fields they're curious about - and we build from there."

Her focus, she added, is less on a student's major than on their long-term vision.

For the etiquette dinner, there is a clear expectation of business casual attire, supported by a developing career closet tailored specifically for athletes, recognizing that standard campus closets don't always stock sizes and cuts that fit them well.

"We want them to be comfortable in who they are, but we also want them to understand that how you dress delivers a message," Edwards said. "You can be yourself and still show up in a way that says, 'I'm ready to be here.'"

Coaches have become key partners in this work. Kristin Belzung, head coach of the Stony Brook volleyball team, called the etiquette dinner "an amazing opportunity for our student-athletes to get both a real-world networking opportunity and a space to learn how to engage successfully in the future."

"They probably don't understand how valuable an experience it is to learn in a safe environment in addition to having access to these companies," Belzung said. "Having the holistic growth opportunities thanks to our Career and Leadership Development team's effort and partnering with the Career Center are incredible, and I'm thankful our student-athletes have access."

Edwards said she has watched participation and engagement grow in recent years as athletes become more proactive about life after sport.

"They're more social, they're asking more questions, and they're starting to take ownership of their life after sport," she said. "As long as they're walking through the door, we're going to keep finding ways to put opportunities in front of them."

- Lily Miller